Monday, September 8, 2014

Change, The Furry Monster

Change is inevitable. When I was a kid I HATED change. I loved wearing the same old shoes for years and was quite happy staying the age I was previously, during each of my birthdays. It was kind of annoying really and it made it difficult for me to grow up. I am kind of embarrassed by these facts. People who embrace change are hardcore and resilient. They possess the ability to lead and make changes for the best. They are respected and admired. I have to consider this position though. Why is it that we admire people who embrace change? It's most likely because no one wants to be the one to do it. No one deep down likes change.

When I got older I realized I had to deal with it. I had to accept the function of change and expect that if I was going to be happy I had to look for the good reasons why change had to happen. The more drastic the changes that occured the more I started to almost like it and crave it. For all the wrong reasons I saw how change could get me away from issues. That "greener on the other side of the fence" concept started to really latch onto me. I became unsatisfied when things weren't changing enough. Overall, you can tell that I pretty much was never satisfied from the beginning!

Why am I being so critical with myself here? Well, I am going through another drastic change. After having convinced myself that I was going to stay put in Massachusetts, live in the same house for decades, and live with what I had, Chris and I had the opportunity to move to New Jersey. After asking God about His opinion in the matter and getting a "yes you should go" we took it. But before the actual decision was made, I went into concern-mode. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about moving or even staying. 

I asked God to place in my heart the desire to be satisfied no matter the outcome. I wanted Him to give me the ability to be content no matter where my home was. I needed Him to give me the feeling in my heart that no matter where I am, I am home. He showed me how much I had been blessed by the home I was given. He provided me the opportunity to give closure to any issues that I might have had while living in Massachusetts. He expressed to me the fact that I was a conqueror and could move on, not because of avoidance or because of the greenness that could be expected. He gave me the ability to be satisfied. 

So with that being said, I will miss my little home. I will miss my family and new family. For the past 3 months I have been embracing each moment and utilizing my time to just be. I used to hurry through life, CONSTANTLY cleaning. Just looking busy. Right now, I am nostalgic. That is all. I am excited for the new opportunties. I am excited to meet new people, though it will shake my skins. Honestly, I cannot wait to organize and clean out stuff for packing. Why this gives me a thrill I don't know. 

Oh, and I am really looking forward to starting a new hobby when we move. Plants. I really really want to have plants in our home. They create cleaner air, make the home look cozy, and everything looks fresh. I will be starting out with succulents of course. My green thumb is only a wannabe. So, with all of this being said, change really is a good thing. It cultivates you, chisels out the bad habits, keeps you on your toes. I am blessed to have found that peace with change. Being mindful of the two ways to divert, when experiencing change, is also key.

Change anything, even if it's small, it means you get to grow. Like pruning bushes, you will become full and lush. Maybe bud a few flowers. Haha.

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