I was wanting to get out of the muck after falling flat on my face. I wanted to see the potential that life had to offer. I wanted to find out who this Jesus was that I had heard about all my life. In order to see Him more clearly, I had to get rid of the junk in my life. I would ask Him for help and He would painfully yank the fears, worries, and pride that I had been holding onto. But, now amidst the stripping and pulling and poking God is showing me that I can achieve great things for His kingdom. If I just remain close by His side and try to emulate His walk and His talk, I will know what to do.
This sounds all fluffy and nice, but let me TELL you. The devil will wisp by your ear and whisper words of accusation and negativity till it seeps in and catches you off guard. He will do what it takes to convince you that the life you are trying to lead is imaginary. He will try and convince you that the strengths you possess are NOT going to work. He will make you cry in the wee hours of night. Then leave you to fend for yourself in the dark with your own sinful, human habits. This happens in our state, but the hope? The drive to keep going toward what is more powerful and MORE true? Every single time that I find myself getting caught up in the half truths of life, God is there again pulling me out of the muck. He is there giving me even stronger evidence than before, that His plan for me is determined and destined to happen. He won't let me go. He won't leave me without the tools to keep the darkness away. Each time I am approached by the devil, the easier it gets to tell him to LEAVE. The less I am down and the faster I get up, is how it all has been developing.
So what are the plans that God has for me? It is my little secret for the time being. But what I want to leave with you is that the journey that I am on is one of discipleship. I aim to learn everything I can about this Jesus. I am determined to speak like Him, connect like Him, lead like Him, comfort like Him, share like Him, and LOOK exactly like Him. Why? I want others to see Him. I want others to see how strongly He can turn a falling apart life into a vibrant and purposeful adventure.
This morning I was out walking, thinking about this whole idea, when I got goosebumps. It might have been the David Crowder on Pandora that ignited the bodily response, but I was nonetheless driven. I sometimes fear that that drive will dissipate or be crushed, but like I said earlier, God makes a come back with a stronger force. I feel it more in my bones. I am just excited about this journey and wanted to share it with you. I hope that you, as well, find a journey you were meant to walk.