My Soul vs. Heavenly Wisdom

It is a real conflict that goes on in our souls. As a Christian I sometimes think that I have it all together, that I have all the answers. I could not be more wrong. It did not really click in my mind till I was reading a lesson in the book of James. Everything in me wants to find my own pleasure. I will do anything to get what I ultimately want. Selfish ambition has me tied naturally. 

I will spend ample amounts of time pointing out the faults of those I love just to justify myself. Even when it is possible that I might be right about their mishaps, it does not mean I have a right to place myself above them. It does not mean that I have a right to feel superior or get what I want after trying to win an argument. It does not mean that I am going to be taken advantage of or misused. 

What does it take for me to not let my behavior fall under the trap of this world? Where can I obtain a wisdom that is not of this world? The world likes to point out mistakes. It fights with revenge, anger, and jealousy just to make sure that it is the one that is RIGHT. God has a wisdom that does no such thing. Despite what may be true about our condition, God chose to love us. He chose to come to the earth, die, and redeem us. He came to the slaughter like a lamb, not fighting. 

So when I feel jealousy, anger, or the fighting words clinging to my tongue, I need to reevaluate. I have to stop trying to protect myself and let God do His job. I have to stop making myself happy and let God give me joy. I have to stop fighting, bickering, judging, hating, coveting, and being angry. In reflection it is strange really. I used to have open anger in my life, but God has shown me that the anger and selfishness runs deeper. It is not just the anger that is out of control in our lives that gets the best of us, it is the anger than we can control.

We can go about our day seeming normal, but in all actuality we are intentionally having thoughts of discontent towards others. We cannot stop because we do not want to stop. It is not the kind that blows up, it is the kind that ruins relationships slowly over time. In my own revelation, I plead with all of you to take the time to seek a higher wisdom. One that stops the confusion about us and allows us to reach out to those that have angered us. God wants to show us that we really have no right to point out anyone else's sin. We all fail. We all are human sinners. We are scum. The gift we have been given we do not deserve. None of us do. The love that God gives us, is the kind of love that is given to those who are undeserving. We need to stop defining what love really is and just GIVE.

This is the conflict of our souls. To be of a higher calling instead of a worldly ambition.