Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Help Meet or Pity Party?

From the beginning of time God has called us to be a helper for the men in our lives. More specifically our husbands. In Genesis God knew that Adam could not be alone and so he formed Eve from Adam's rib. Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, literally. Sometimes we think that submission to our husbands is of a past time, but it honestly is an act that has been watered down and ruined. In its pure form, it honestly shows what being a "helper" is all about. If you were to look in the Strong's concordance you would find that a "help meet" in the King James Version means to surround, protect, or aid. There is another word that pops up... succor which is a British term for relief or bring aid. Basically rescue.

God wasn't asking Eve to pick up after Adam or even take commands from him like a servant. He was giving Eve the responsibility of aiding him in the garden. They were to care for and cultivate the land, while enjoying God's company. Talk about an ultimate equality and living as a perfect team. When we, as women, want to figure out the best way to make our homes a safe and inviting place, we need to get back to the basics. We need to figure out what God originally designed us for.

I have read the books about this topic and I have heard bits and pieces from other women what they think is the ideal situation for them personally. For me, I have come to find that in order to really live for God I have to understand what He created me for. I also want to share with you what I have found so that you can take it and see how you can develop your home life.

I am a new wife. I have no children but a wealth of family and friends. In my short time as a spouse I have come to find that in order to really enjoy this aspect of life, I have to untie my selfish motives and release them into the darkness. In its place I need to embrace selfless love. This is really hard for me to really make a life style. Those moments when Chris is out helping kids with baseball or practicing with his band, I get really lonely. He spends hours upon hours helping others. I will go into these little rants and self pity parties with myself while he is away. It really doesn't end well and honestly, just isn't productive. But I have done it.

Lately I have been trying to get over these feelings of self importance. I often get caught up in my own thoughts and feelings, placing them in what I claim as reality. In actuality, those feelings are made up by yours truly. Reality is far less complicated and stressful. When I start to think about how I can HELP or get myself involved in others' lives, I start to forget that I was even alone. It has taken me a LONG time to get to this place. I am still learning how to cultivate it so don't even think that I have arrived. There is never an arrival.

God calls us to be more like Him and in order to do that we need to look at His life. What I have seen in reading the gospels, so far, is that He is completely selfless. In the midst of experiencing the cruelest death and baring ALL OF OUR SINS, He prayed for His disciples' well being. Seriously think about that. Not once did he feel sorry for Himself or compare Himself with how the disciples were dozing off. He just did what He had to do.

So how can I help my husband in this life? I can stop complaining about not having enough time to spend with him. I can quit feeling clingy... I hate that feeling actually but somehow it just happens. I can provide meals for him when he gets home. I can keep the home clean and make sure that he has fresh t-shirts. I can have an attitude of encouragement and be there any time that he wants to discuss issues or accomplishments. Pretty much be like a cheerleader without the cheese.

Ya, I have asked myself why I haven't been given millions of responsbilities involving TONS of time. Sometimes we think that being majorly productive is where its at. But as it has been addressed, my life is not for itself but for a team. We need to take the time to compare ourselves only to what God designed and not what others claim is the best way to live. I wanted to share this with you in hopes that you will join me in this journey. Giving of ourselves is hard as sinful human beings, but I have found that letting God exercise those "selfless muscles" in my mind I actually feel lighter. Happier. Free and well in the midst of the Good News.

I have decided that I am not going to live a typical life. I have to remind myself every day of this. Trust me, those pity parties like to sneak in real good. Pray for each other. Pray that we might be the best warriors for Christ. You would be surprised what He will call you to do. You will be amazed at what a woman can do. We take on a whole other boat load of responsibilities.


Mark Gagnon said...

Dear Krystal.....I wonder if the first step in radical Christianity is the refusal to live a "typical" life....thanks again for your thoughts...Pastor Mark

Adrian Zahid said...

Good writing. Keep it up.