Embracing His Righteousness

 Embracing what we are. I am probably not the first to retaliate. Defining who we want to be. I used to think that I was doomed for the weaknesses inside i thougt I wouldn't be able to take on a new way of thinking that would ultimately be positive. I am at a point in my life where I have made decisions to prevent certain ways of thinking and have adapt new ones. The determination showed me my strength. The fears revealed where I could change. I still want to curl up into a ball sometimes but the moments are shorter and I remember the words of motivation much sooner. Positive thinking doesn't come natural to the pessimist. That is my downfall. I have to bite the bullet and not just hope it all works, I have to know it works. 

It is strange. It is the moment you notice you are in deep that you realize change needs to occur. The hopeless death of dreams I thought I needed had to become some other focus. I embraced God like an infant. He was silent but in his precense I knew I was covered. He had helped me in small ways before so I knew he would pull through now. I was going to be His child and reveal His glory. Him I meditated on and talked to all day. Instead of releasing my fears and feelings publicly I would release them to Him. Instead of counting to 100 or slipping a pill, I pressed my urgency toward God. 

I knew He could heal my broken soul and would show me how to love who I was again. I wanted to be at peace vocally and in my demeanor. I found myself reaching more and more for His critique rather than that of the world around me. I found stability and strength like I had never seen. Circumstances were handed to me with His love written clearly within. I was where He wanted me to be. 

Today I have new questions and challenges. I still know His care and will reach Him today. In trouble we find His calm and solitude. in fear we know who to turn to. So in knowing these fears I see what I am. In knowing God and what He can do, I am one step closer to purpose and happiness in what I am. I am a child of the King. That is where I will define Myself here on out. We can only embrace ourselves when clothed in His righteousness.